The Neighborhood
by elvenonion
Summary: What will happen when Aragorn finds himself in the worst neighborhood EVER? FIND OUT!


Disclaimer: I don't own anything from LOTR.

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away...oh great..that's it, who changed all of these cue cards?

( TECH. DIFFICULTIES)

(Five min. later)

Hehe, sorry 'bout that folks. Now...Aragorn, the ranger we all have grown accustomed to, once lived in a dreadful neighborhood.

"I can't take it anymore Gandalf!", said Aragorn into his phone."Okay, okay. I know this _lovely _townhouse up on Fif St. Come check it out!" Said Gandalf on the other line."I shall!" "By the by, why do you want it?" asked the curious Gandalf."Annoyin' neighbors. Eowyn, Eomer, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Rosie, Gimli, and-" Aragorn said, but was cut off by Legolas.

"HI ARAGORN! How are you? I'm good. Yeah, uh, your door was locked so I just broke it down. I'll pay for the damages. Well-" Legolas said, talking constantly. Aragorn stopped him mid-sentence. "Legolas I'm on the phone. Please leave." "YOU HATE ME!" The elf cried shrilly, and he ran out of the room crying. Aragorn returned to the phone. "I'll come Asap."

Meanwhile, Frodo was hosting a dinner party with all of the neighbors that were mentioned earlier, except Legolas of course."Bad news everyone.." Frodo said, hanging up the phone."What is it?" asked Gimli."Aragorn's moving!" cried Frodo, sobbing over-dramatically. "Why is fate so cru-el?" screeched Eowyn."NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Sam. "Why is he moving?" asked Rosie.

"Wait...how do you know this, Frodo?" asked Sam's daughter, Elanor."Uhhhh..." said Frodo. He covered Elanor's ears. "I tapped his phones.""Oy! Gerroff my ears! I can still hear you! You tapped 'is phones!" said the little hobbit girl angrily."No I didn't." said Frodo."Okay. La-la-la..." said Elanor, skipping out of the room.

"...what a strange little girl.." muttered Frodo."What?""Nothing!"

Back with Gandalf and Aragorn...

"Well, lets go in, shall we?" said Gandalf, opening the door to the townhouse. Aragorn walked in to see Faramir sitting on the couch."Faramir, what are you doing here?" asked Aragorn."I live here! Pickle?", replied Faramir, offering Aragorn a pickle from the giant jar he had sitting next to him.

"Gandalf! You said this house was for sale!" said Aragorn, turning around.But Gandalf was gone.

"Will you leave?", asked Faramir." I need an apartment!" pleaded Aragorn, sinking to his knees and sobbing pathetically. "Please? Pleeeeeease?" Aragorn began to get hysterical. "PLEASE? PLEASE! PLEASE!"Faramir put down his camcorder. "Okay, I'll let you move in. You didn't need to get hysterical. "Oh. You won't tell anyone, will you?" Faramir crossed his fingers behind his back. "O-of course not." His eyes shifted nervously back and forth. I.e. he did the shifty eyes.

Back to the neighbors...

"Hey Gandalf..." said Eomer."Yes?" "We need houses.""Where?" "Where Aragorn lives." "How many houses?" "Five." "Why five?" asked Gandalf." One for Sam and Rosie, one for Pippin, Merry and ...the other one, one for me and my sis., and one for Gimli and Legolas.""That was only four.." "So?" asked Eomer."Alright. I'll get the houses." said Gandalf, sighing.

He took out his diamond-studded cell phone."EW! Tacky." said Eomer."WHO ASKED YOU!" yelled Gandalf, hitting "Denny" on his speed dial list."Waadyawant?" came a sleepy voice."Denethor, it's Gandalf." Gandalf said into the phone."Oh!" he said clearing his throat. "What do ya need?""Five houses on Fif. St.""Right. I'll have 'em cleared out by morning, G'bye Gandalf."

"Alright." Said Gandalf, hanging up.

"Okay, then, I guess I'll see you later then, Gandalf." said Eomer, still slightly repulsed by Gandalf's taste in cell phones.The next morning Eomer and the rest of the neighbors moved into their new homes.

Meanwhile, Aragorn was sleeping peacefully until he was awoken by loud crashing noises.

"What in the name of short people!" he said, looking at his alarm clock. "5:00 am! ...well, I'm awake now...I'd better get some food and coffe before work."When Aragorn opened the door of his room. In the hall he was a VERY disturbing sight. Gym socks were completely covering the ground.

Aragorn shrieked like a little girl and slammed his door. He waited until he was calm and opened it again. "Ewwwwww. I can't step on those...**socks**. I'll need to fling myself down the hall." he thought aloud. But when Aragorn did so he failed to remember it was a two-story house and flung himself down the hall and crashed down the stairs.

(Crashing noises)

...when he was all the way down the stairs he landed face first in a pile of socks. He heard a familiar voice..." One, (pant), and two...must keep going."Aragorn walked in the living room, peeling a sock off his forehead. "What-are-you-DOING!" he demanded."I always exercise at 5 am." said Faramir.

"Wearing clogs?" "Yes. It helps build up the foot muscles." Faramir explained.Aragorn shook his head. "Whatever you say. I need some food." he said, walking into the kitchen.

Aragorn raided the fridge until..."Aha! I found it!" he said, and walked back into the living room, a huge sausage in hand. "Why do you eat such fatty foods?" asked Faramir, looking at the clock. "My workout's done. Anyway, you should really start watching your weight." He poked Aragorn's stomach, and when he removed his finger his fat jiggled. "EW! That's it! You're going on a diet!"

"I'm your roomate! You can't just-" Aragorn started."Yes I can. My conscience is fine with blackmail." said Faramir, smiling. Aragorn glared at him. "Fine."

TBC


End file.
